Look, I’m sure many of you humans out there feel similarly, perhaps just differing in methodology a little bit. I for one, cannot just dip one chip into the hummus/salsa/guac/three cheese dip my aunt said she hand made but I recognize from Safeway, I have to do two chips, every time, no exceptions. And if the ration of dip to chip is inadequate, I often find myself frantically throwing another chip into my mouth to even it out.

I know I’m not the only one like this. My friend Jane does the same things with her food. Is this a sensory thing? are we just gifted with exceptional palates? who knows.

I also have a similar ritual whenever I get a cheeseburger, fries and a milkshake. it goes like; bite burger, sip shake, eat fries, adjust ratio, then chew and swallow (sorry not sorry for that image in your head). I do this until i run out of one of the three items and my meal then takes a drastic dip in quality.

I should really ask my friend why she does her preferences, maybe conduct a study on this. The people need to know.

I wonder if its connected with my food tastes as a whole? people (including myself) have often described me as a more the merrier kind of guy, and that includes friends, hobbies, collecting books (but not reading them) and flavour’s in my food.

I dated a former chef for awhile and she would always give me this wide eyed look when I was covering the food she made in sauces or when I made another dish with peanut butter that totally didn’t need peanut butter. Now fair is fair, when she would make food I would try my best to eat it the way she wanted it eaten, and it even tasted good! but I think there’s just this relationship I have with food that is so based on what makes me feel comfortable and in control.

When I make my food I always have a hard time finding out when enough ingredients have been put in. I mean you should see me make a burrito, you would think I was packing for a weekend trip with all the bits I try to fit into that tortilla. As you’ve probably guessed by now, yes I do get the extra large tortillas, and yes I do often end up using another one.

I’m really confronting this right now when I make my lunches. I’m big on sandwiches right now and I’m trying to be mindful with what I put in them, trying to adopt a “less is more” attitude. Today wasnt so bad, I even resisted putting peanut butter on my pickle/cheese/meat sandwich! Id say that’s a win! and it wasnt half bad.

I think these food habits (speaking for myself) can often stem from eating cheaper food as a kid. I was raised on microwave meals (hello Kidcuisine!) and the standard American faire. So it would make sense that my instinct is to cram as much flavour in as possible because growing up you needed extra things just to make that 2 dollar mac and cheese edible. As for the way I eat my food, heck that’s probably because I was searching for some sense of control in an out of control environment! but that’s something to unpack for another time.

Do I feel like changing these things? not really. with the sandwich thing I guess I’m just trying to eat more mindfully, but I don’t want to run away from things I like just because its a little weird. I guess my bigger task I have put on myself is to be more comfortable with myself being this way. This is especially hard when some cutie come over for dinner or my friends ask me why I am shoving so much food in my mouth at the barbecue. I don’t want to change this about myself, just accept that shit and not be afraid to be show that side of myself around people. Though for the sake of other peoples comfort i will never make anyone else eat what I eat, I think that’s pretty fair.

I heard a great quote today that goes like: “I am learning to be the same person everywhere I go” and I really took this to heart.

So yeah, next time we go out for food, I’m gonna put ketchup on that mac and cheese and there’s not a goddamm thing anyone can do about it.